It raises unwelcome questions when a restaurant puts unnecessary quote marks around a menu item, like “hamburger.”

        — Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport)

“The more laws the more offenders.”

        — Thomas Fuller

“It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.”

        — Upton Sinclair

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

        — Kimberly Johnson

“Seek simplicity, and distrust it.”

        — Alfred North Whitehead, mathematician & philosopher

“I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.”

        — Jane Wagner

“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.”

        — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry