The phrase, “Don’t take this the wrong way,” has a zero percent success rate.

        — Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan)

“The only things that are certain in life are death and taxes and my murderous rage if you don’t order your own fries and keep eating mine.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Not ignorance, but ignorance of ignorance, is the death of knowledge.”

        — Alfred North Whitehead

“Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.”

        — Unknown

“Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.”

        — Douglas Adams

“I think it’s adorable when people assume I’m interested in anything they have to say before I’ve had my coffee.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“In carpentry, you measure twice and cut once. In software development, you never measure and make cuts until you run out of time.”

        — Adam Morse

“Visual programming is like trying to get to the moon by climbing a tree. You make a lot of good early progress, at first, but pretty soon you have to go back to your funding agency and ask for a bigger tree.”

        — Unknown

“Gaze not into the abyss, lest you become recognized as an abyss domain expert, and they expect you keep gazing into the damn thing.”

        — Nick Mathewson

“Theory helps us bear our ignorance of facts.”

        — George Santayana

“A nice thing about being single is when you’re setting the silverware it doesn’t matter which side you put the remote on.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

        — Maya Angelou

“For someone who has ostensibly outgrown staying up late waiting for Santa, I do spend an awful lot of time refreshing websites to see if packages are here yet.”

        — Randall Munroe

“Don’t judge those who try and fail, judge those who fail to try.”

        — Unknown

“I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”

        — Winston Churchill

“A library is thought in cold storage.”

        — Herbert Samuel

“His speeches left the impression of an army of pompous phrases moving over the landscape in search of an idea.”

        — William McAdoo

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.”

        — Marcus Tullius Cicero (106BC-43BC)

“Losers quit when they’re tired. Winners quit when they’ve won.”

        — Unknown

“What one sees depends on how one sees.”

        — Søren Kierkegaard

“A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.”

        — The Knights of Pythagoras