“Some poor, phoneless fool is probably sitting next to a waterfall somewhere totally unaware of how angry and scared he’s supposed to be.”

        — Duncan Trussell

“The liberation of humanity is all or nothing.”

        — May 1968 Graffiti #

“If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.”

        — George S. Patton

“I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.”

        — Charles M. Schulz

“Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.”

        — Franklin P. Jones

“Well done is better than well said.”

        — Benjamin Franklin

“No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.”

        — Sam Rayburn

“Words without actions are the assassins of idealism.”

        — Herbert Hoover

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

        — Dr. Seuss A.K.A. Theodore Giesel

“I was married by a judge – I should have asked for a jury.”

        — Groucho Marx

“And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”

        — Erica Jong

“Don’t be sad because its over. Smile because it happened.”

        — Dr. Seuss A.K.A. Theodore Giesel

“A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.”

        — Edgar A. Shoaff

“There is more to life than increasing its speed.”

        — Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

“A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.”

        — The Knights of Pythagoras

“I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.”

        — Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.”

        — Lynda Barry

“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving words in evidence of the fact.”

        — George Elliot

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat.”

        — Lilly Tomlin

“It is expecting too much for a politician to be sincerely interested in the free flow of information.”

        — Graham Perkins

“Adulthood is like the vet, and we’re all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we’re going.”

        — Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie)

Whenever my friends suggest going to a vegan restaurant, my first thought is, “what will I eat afterwards?”

        — David Siegel (@dvdsgl)