“The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it’s more like a tired feeling.”

        — Paula Poundstone

“They make it look so easy. Connecting with another human being. It’s like no one told them it’s the hardest thing in the world.”

        — Dexter, “The Big One”

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.”

        — Sandra Carey

“It’s not whether you win or lose – but whether I win or lose.”

        — Sandy Lyle

“Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.”

        — Gilbert Keith Chesterton

“Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess.”

        — Edna Woolman Chase

“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

        — Unknown

“Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.”

        — Helen Hays

“Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves what he gets.”

        — Neil Gaiman

“An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.”

        — Dwight Eisenhower

“Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.”

        — George Jean Nathan

“The (computer) mouse is probably the narrowest straw you could try and suck all of human expression through.”

        — Joy Mountford

“Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets.”

        — Arthur Miller

“Self improvement is great, but I’d rather rely on coffee to solve all of my problems.”

“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

        — Theodore Roosevelt

“Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”

        — Indira Gandhi

“Some poor, phoneless fool is probably sitting next to a waterfall somewhere totally unaware of how angry and scared he’s supposed to be.”

        — Duncan Trussell

“You just have to make the transition from weird to eccentric and then you’re okay.”

        — John Elder Robinson

“It was pretty much an accident because I didn’t mean it!”

        — Raven Hinton, aged 8

“Be the ancient advanced alien race you want to see in the universe.”

        — @futurebird@sauropods.win

“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”

        — Unknown

“A fool flatters himself, a wise man flatters the fool”

        — Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton