“You’re making this too complicated when it’s really quite simple. All you have to do is make the software completely configurable so it can do whatever I need it to.”

        — Unknown, from Clients From Hell

“No matter how hard you push and no matter what the priority, you can’t increase the speed of light.”

        — R. Callon, RFC1925: The Twelve Networking Truths

“You can safely assume you have created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

        — Ann Lamott

“Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.”

        — Rita Mae Brown

“If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.”

        — Unknown

“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.”

        — Sam Keen

“Don’t judge those who try and fail, judge those who fail to try.”

        — Unknown

“Eagles may soar high, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.”

        — John Benfield

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.”

        — John F. Kennedy, 1962

“Technology doesn’t make us dumb. It just allows us to make others aware of how dumb we are.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“The easiest way to save face is to keep the lower half shut.”

        — Unknown

“All the world’s a stage! And here I am in the blooper reel!”

        — Ziggy by Tom Wilson

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

        — Carl Bard

“I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else.”

        — Winston Churchill

“The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.”

        — Rita Mae Brown

“A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library.”

        — Shelby Foote

“There are only two things software professionals dislike: the way things are, and change.”

        — Tobias Mayer (@tobiasmayer)

“A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point.”

        — Mistinguett

“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.”

        — Jack London

“Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it necessary? Is it true? Does it improve upon the silence?”

        — Shirdi Sai Baba

“The future is already here – it is just unevenly distributed.”

        — William Gibson

“Faith can move mountains, but don’t be surprised if God hands you a shovel.”

        — Unknown

“Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.”

        — John Quinton