“You have reached the Internal Revenue Service. To confess in English, press one…”

        — Ziggy by Tom Wilson

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

        — Lane Olinghouse

Yesterday it built.
No change; today it does not.
The code has feelings.

        — Pete Goodliffe

“There are those that avoid failure, and those that seek success; those that avoid complexity, and those that seek simplicity.”

        — Simon Harris (@haruki_zaemon)

“Hatred is one long wait.”

        — René Maran

“Whatever your advice, make it brief.”

        — Horace

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

        — Aristotle

“If you torture the data long enough, it will confess to anything.”

        — Darrell Huff, How to Lie With Statistics

“To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.”

        — Confucius

“The best way to sound like you know what you’re talking about is to know what you’re talking about.”

        — Unknown

“The things which are most important don’t always scream the loudest.”

        — Bob Hawke

“I don’t understand how the people of Tunisia overthrew their government without me signing an e-petition or changing my Twitter avatar.”

        — Matt Bailey (@mattb811)

“No member of a crew is praised for the rugged individuality of his rowing.”

        — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“During a campaign the air is full of speeches – and vice versa.”

        — Unknown

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”

        — C. S. Lewis

“Stupidity on the Internet is there for everyone to see for all times in perpetuity.”

        — Ron Kuby

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.”

        — Anais Nin

“We’ve spent more money bailing out the banks, in one year, than we’ve spent on Science in Britain, since Jesus.”

        — Professor Brian Cox

“If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.”

        — Unknown

“Fear not that life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning.”

        — John Henry Cardinal Newman

Haikus are easy,
but sometimes they don’t make sense.
Refrigerator

“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

        — Theodore Roosevelt

“The heart is the first feature of working minds.”

        — Frank Lloyd Wright