“Reality shows are great because they let you watch dysfunctional people without an annoying mirror.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“UNIX was not designed to stop its users from doing stupid things, as that would also stop them from doing clever things.”

        — Doug Gwyn

“Don’t try to be different. Just be good. To be good is different enough.”

        — Arthur Freed

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”

        — John Lubbock

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.”

        — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.”

        — Rich Kulawiec

“To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.”

        — Charles de Montesquieu

“I have never listened to anyone who criticised my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room.”

        — Ray Bradbury

“Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. We launch a bird into pigs.”

        — George Bray (@GeorgeBray)

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.”

        — Joseph Conrad

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

        — Bill Cosby

Hip-hop music that is no longer popular should simply be referred to as “hop.”

        — Fake AP Stylebook (@FakeAPStylebook)

“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.”

        — American Proverb

“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

        — Sir Winston Churchill

“Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought.”

        — Henri Louis Bergson

“Liz is different from all the other girls I’ve known. For one thing, she likes me.”

        — Jon, Garfield

“You know horses are smarter than people. You never heard of a horse going broke betting on people.”

        — Will Rogers

“Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?”

        — Frank Scully

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don’t think.”

        — Unknown

“Happiness is a direction, not a place.”

        — Sydney J. Harris

“Before you speak, ask yourself: Is it necessary? Is it true? Does it improve upon the silence?”

        — Shirdi Sai Baba