“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat.”

        — Lilly Tomlin

“In waking a tiger, use a long stick”

        — Mao Tse-Tung

“I praise loudly, I blame softly.”

        — Catherine the Great

“We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet.”

        — Unknown

“Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow colour blind.”

        — Austin O’Malley

“I don’t understand how the people of Tunisia overthrew their government without me signing an e-petition or changing my Twitter avatar.”

        — Matt Bailey (@mattb811)

“A man chases a woman until she catches him.”

        — American Proverb

“There is only one thing more painful than learning from experience and that is not learning from experience.”

        — Archibald McLeish

“The two best weapons for fighting off the demons of fear: laughter and math. I’m lousy at math.”

        — Jake Adelstein (@jakeadelstein)

“A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“For business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.”

        — Mark Twain

“Ice cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.”

        — Voltaire

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”

        — Don Marquis

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.”

        — Charles Dickens

“Our marriage was built on mutual trust and a lot of acting ability.”

        — Unknown

“A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.”

        — Henrik Ibsen

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”

        — Erma Bombeck

“May you get to Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you’re dead.”

        — Irish Blessing

“Indecision becomes decision with time.”

        — Unknown

“If you cannot win, make the one ahead of you break the record.”

        — Jan McKeithen

“Confusion is a renewable resource.”

        — Kent Beck (@KentBeck)