“It’s hard to be a James Bond in an Abbott and Costello world.”

        — Unknown

“Interpretive dance, when it succeeds, is still a failure.”

        — Toby Hede, “Things I have learned from a lifetime of failure” Ignite Melbourne 2010

“Some people are like slinkies – not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.”

“The more we sweat in peace the less we bleed in war.”

        — Vijaya Lakshmi Pandit

It amazes me that the same people that consider “developers” fungible are upset when the resources consider them equally exchangeable.

        — Torbjörn Gyllebring (@drunkcod)

“A company that focuses solely on profits ultimately betrays both itself and society.”

        — Bill Hewlett and David Packard

Just in time for Christmas, Q4TD is now available on Google Plus!

“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace”

        — Robert J. Sawyer

“I am in favour of preserving the French habit of kissing ladies’ hands - after all, one must start somewhere.”

        — Sacha Guitry

“Process is an embedded reaction to prior stupidity.”

        — Clay Shirky

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.”

        — Calvin Coolidge

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”

        — George Bernard Shaw

“As a nation we are dedicated to keeping physically fit – and parking as close to the stadium as possible.”

        — Bill Vaughan

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

        — Kimberly Johnson

“Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable.”

        — Kenyan proverb

“Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom.”

        — Merry Browne

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

        — John F. Kennedy

“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.”

        — William Somerset Maugham

“As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.”

        — Joan Gussow

“If you lend someone twenty dollars, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.”

        — Unknown

“I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”

        — Unknown

“English is already a fairly succinct language, but it appears to be succinctering.”

        — Steve Yegge (@Steve_Yegge)

“A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.”

        — Barnett Cocks

“Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

        — Garth Brooks

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”

        — Erin Major

“There is no failure. Only feedback.”

        — Robert Allen

“Being a good writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet.”

        — Unknown

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”

        — C. S. Lewis

“Babies are such a nice way to start people.”

        — Don Herrold

“He flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.”

        — Stephen Leacock

“It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.”

        — David Cain

“There’s a word for a writer who never gives up… published.”

        — Joe Konrath

“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.”

        — Ashleigh Brilliant

“Liz is different from all the other girls I’ve known. For one thing, she likes me.”

        — Jon, Garfield

“We crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow.”

        — Fulton Oursler

“Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.”

        — William Stafford

“Ours is the age which is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to.”

        — Howard Mumford Jones

“Change is not a bolt of lightning that arrives with a zap. It is a bridge built brick by brick, every day”

        — Sarah Hepola

“I’m going to buy him a copy of the Mythical Man Month. Actually I’m going to buy him two copies so he can read it twice as fast.”

        — Unknown

“Hardware without software is just heat.”

        — Doug Fisher

“If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.”

        — Oliver Herford

“Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.”

        — Horace Mann

“The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours.”

        — Arthur Lacey

“I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.”

        — Bella Abzug

“Bore: A man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.”

        — Gian Vincenzo Gravina

“There is no failure. Only feedback.”

        — Robert Allen

“I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library.”

        — Jorge Luis Borges

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”

        — George Bernard Shaw

“No individual raindrop considers itself responsible for the flood.”

        — Unknown

“No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim.”

        — Russian Proverb

“The biggest mistake men make is thinking they have to even remotely understand what it is that they’re apologising for.”

        — Caprice Crane (@CapricecCrane)

“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.”

        — Mignon McLaughlin

“Fortunately excitement is one of the contagious things children carry.”

        — Tatu Saloranta (@cowtowncoder)

“A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbour’s.”

        — Richard Whately

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

        — Bill Cosby

“C++ is history repeated as tragedy. Java is history repeated as farce.”

        — Scott McKay

“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

        — Unknown

“Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week”

        — Spanish Proverb

“If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.”

        — Oliver Herford

“May you get to Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you’re dead.”

        — Irish Blessing

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

        — Lane Olinghouse

“Sometimes you just have to jump out the window and grow wings on the way down.”

        — Ray Bradbury

“Stupidity on the Internet is there for everyone to see for all times in perpetuity.”

        — Ron Kuby

“Process is an embedded reaction to prior stupidity.”

        — Clay Shirky

“It isn’t the mountains ahead that wear you out, it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.”

        — Unknown

“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”

        — Derek Bok

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

        — Mark Twain

“If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.”

        — Unknown

“May this new decade be one of diversity instead of paranoia, of forgiveness instead of punishment, of equality instead of privilege.”

        — Van Badham (@vanbadham)

“A library is infinity under a roof.”

        — Gail Carson Levine

“Bore: A man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.”

        — Gian Vincenzo Gravina

“If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.”

        — Oliver Herford

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.’”

        — Isaac Asimov

“Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.”

        — Kahlil Gibran

“I am in favour of preserving the French habit of kissing ladies’ hands - after all, one must start somewhere.”

        — Sacha Guitry

“Only in grammar can you be more than perfect.”

        — William Safire

“Rare is the person who can weigh the faults of others without putting his thumb on the scales.”

        — Byron J. Langenfeld

“If God has created us in His image, we have more than returned the compliment.”

        — Voltaire

“Bing is a great Website for doing Internet searches. I know that, because I Googled it.”

        — Stephen Colbert

“Only drug dealers and software companies call their customers ‘users’”

        — Edward Tufte

“Stock photos are the bullet points of the twenty-first century.”

        — Martin Fowler

“There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.”

        — Laurence Peter

“Not ignorance, but ignorance of ignorance, is the death of knowledge.”

        — Alfred North Whitehead

“A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.”

        — Howard Scott

“Some people are like slinkies – not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.”

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears that this is true.”

        — James Branch Cabell

“Nothing is so good that somebody, somewhere will not hate it”

        — Frederick Pohl

(R.I.P. 26 Nov 1919 — 2 Sep 2013)

“Talk doesn’t cook rice.”

        — Chinese Proverb

“What sculpture is to a block of marble, education is to the soul.”

        — Joseph Addison

Acceptance is such an important commodity, some have called it “the first law of personal growth.”

        — Peter McWilliams

“English is already a fairly succinct language, but it appears to be succinctering.”

        — Steve Yegge (@Steve_Yegge)

“Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”

        — Unknown

“Don’t wait for people to be friendly, show them how.”

        — Unknown

“A book must be an axe for the frozen sea inside of us.”

        — Franz Kafka

“It takes a considerable amount of effort to learn Vim. It takes twice as much to unlearn it.”

        — john2x on Hacker News

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

        — T. S. Eliot

“There is no failure. Only feedback.”

        — Robert Allen

“The man with a toothache thinks everyone happy whose teeth are sound.”

        — George Bernard Shaw

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you.”

        — Robert Fulghum

No matter what your Chinese symbol tattoo says, I’m going to assume the translation is: “Please think I’m cool.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

        — Winston Churchill

“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace”

        — Robert J. Sawyer

“Admit your errors before someone else exaggerates them.”

        — Andrew V. Mason

“A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.”

        — Edgar A. Shoaff

“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter.”

        — Billy Connolly

“Nothing destroys a good idea faster than a mandatory consensus.”

        — Jessica Hagy #

“If the claws didn’t retract, cats would be like Velcro.”

        — Bruce Fogle

“We crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for yesterday and fear of tomorrow.”

        — Fulton Oursler

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.”

        — Frederick Douglass

“It isn’t the mountains ahead that wear you out, it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.”

        — Unknown

“The best way to sound like you know what you’re talking about is to know what you’re talking about.”

        — Unknown

Whenever my friends suggest going to a vegan restaurant, my first thought is, “what will I eat afterwards?”

        — David Siegel (@dvdsgl)

“Depression means you cannot enjoy cats on the Internet.”

        — Paul Fenwick (watch @pjf’s five minute talk on YouTube)

“Fear not that life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning.”

        — John Henry Cardinal Newman

“Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours.”

        — Doug Larson

“The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.”

        — Doug Larson

“It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”

        — John Cassis

“Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.”

        — William Stafford

“There are only two kinds of [programming] languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses.”

        — Bjarne Stroustrup

“Technology doesn’t make us dumb. It just allows us to make others aware of how dumb we are.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“There are only two kinds of [programming] languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses.”

        — Bjarne Stroustrup

“I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”

        — Unknown

“The only things that are certain in life are death and taxes and my murderous rage if you don’t order your own fries and keep eating mine.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Adulthood is like the vet, and we’re all the dogs that were excited for the car ride until we realized where we’re going.”

        — Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie)

“You’re making this too complicated when it’s really quite simple. All you have to do is make the software completely configurable so it can do whatever I need it to.”

        — Unknown, from Clients From Hell

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe.”

        — Albert Einstein

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.”

        — Calvin Coolidge

“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”

        — Greek proverb

“Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”

        — Indira Gandhi

“I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.”

        — Jane Wagner

“If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.”

        — Unknown

“My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.”

        — Groucho Marx

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.”

        — Ziggy by Tom Wilson

“You just have to make the transition from weird to eccentric and then you’re okay.”

        — John Elder Robinson

“He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.”

        — Harold Wilson

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

        — Aesop

“Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.”

        — Dandemis

“Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.”

        — George Jean Nathan

“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.”

        — Unknown

“Daughters are like flowers, they fill the world with beauty, and sometimes attract pests.”

        — Unknown

“I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes.”

        — Mark Twain

“The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.”

        — Unknown

That’s why it was left to wizards, who knew how to handle it safely. Not doing any magic at all was the chief task of wizards — not “not doing magic” because they couldn’t do magic, but not doing magic when they could do and didn’t. Any ignorant fool can fail to turn someone else into a frog. You have to be clever to refrain from doing it when you knew how easy it was. There were places in the world commemorating those times when wizards hadn’t been quite as clever as that, and on many of them the grass would never grow again.

        — Terry Pratchett

“There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.”

        — Christopher Morley

“If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.”

        — Oliver Herford

“Perfection [in design] is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”

        — St Antoine de Exupéry

“Never be afraid to try, remember… Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

        — Unknown

The phrase, “Don’t take this the wrong way,” has a zero percent success rate.

        — Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan)

“The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.”

        — Doug Larson

“A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion but doesn’t.”

        — Tom Waits

“Hatred is one long wait.”

        — René Maran

“Eat the first Skittle in the bag like it’s the last Skittle in the bag.”

        — David Tate (@mixteenth)

“Money may talk, but chocolate sings.”

        — Unknown

“Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.”

        — Josh Billings

“Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours.”

        — Doug Larson

“You never truly understand concurrency until you’ve had your second child”

        — Old Erlang saying

“Stock photos are the bullet points of the twenty-first century.”

        — Martin Fowler

“I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.”

        — Bella Abzug

“I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample underfoot.”

        — Horace Greeley

“With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is not necessarily a good idea.”

        — R. Callon, RFC1925: The Twelve Networking Truths

“Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.”

        — Unknown

“Being realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity.”

        — Will Smith

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

        — George Bernard Shaw

“Golf is a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.”

        — Unknown

“There are those that avoid failure, and those that seek success; those that avoid complexity, and those that seek simplicity.”

        — Simon Harris (@haruki_zaemon)

“It is good for us to keep some account of our prayers, that we may not unsay them in our practice.”

        — Matthew Henry

“I saw `cout’ being shifted “Hello world” times to the left and stopped right there.”

        — Steve Gonedes

“Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.”

        — Haim Ginott

“Courage is tiny pieces of fear all glued together.”

        — Irisa Hail

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.”

        — Rodney Dangerfield

“Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them.”

        — John Shirley

“Compatibility means deliberately repeating other people’s mistakes.”

        — David Wheeler

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.”

        — John Cage

“A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.”

        — William Faulkner

“Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.”

        — Mark Twain

“It’s hard to be a James Bond in an Abbott and Costello world.”

        — Unknown

“A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn.”

        — Unknown

“The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing.”

        — Jean Baptiste Colbert

“Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

        — Mark Twain

“Indecision becomes decision with time.”

        — Unknown

“When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.”

        — Abraham Joshua Heschel

“To many people virtue consists chiefly in repenting faults, not in avoiding them.”

        — Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

“Political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between.”

        — Alfred E. Neuman

“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”

        — William Makepeace Thackeray

“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.”

        — Michelangelo Buonarroti

“The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.”

        — Flannery O’Connor

“Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.”

        — Unknown

“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.”

        — Danny Kaye

“I mean seriously, aren’t there days when you’d rather open an artery than check your email?”

        — J. Michael Straczynski (@straczynski)

“You have reached the Internal Revenue Service. To confess in English, press one…”

        — Ziggy by Tom Wilson

“Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.”

        — George Bernard Shaw

“Someday humanity will defeat Skynet by installing iTunes and McAfee on it.”

        — Lowell (@howtogeek)

“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.”

        — Danny Kaye

“What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so.”

        — Hiccup, How to Train Your Dragon

“Middle names exist so kids have a clear indication when they are in big trouble.”

        — Michael Lopp (@rands)

“As long as a word remains unspoken, you are it’s master once you utter it, you are it’s slave.”

        — Solomon Ibn Gabirol

“My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income.”

        — Errol Flynn

“Decaffeinated coffee is the devil’s blend.”

        — Unknown

“The biggest mistake men make is thinking they have to even remotely understand what it is that they’re apologising for.”

        — Caprice Crane (@CapricecCrane)

“We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm.”

        — Winston Churchill

“It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting.”

        — Millard Fuller

“You can’t build a reputation on what you intend to do.”

        — Liz Smith

“When there was only one set of footprints in the sand, that was when I bailed because you wouldn’t stop talking about your gluten allergy.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Be curious, not judgemental.”

        — Walt Whitman

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

        — Leo Tolstoy

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.’”

        — Isaac Asimov

“The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you still have to mow it.”

        — Unknown

“Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.”

        — Sam Brown

“Git gets easier once you get the basic idea that branches are homeomorphic endofunctors mapping submanifolds of a Hilbert space.”

        — Isaac Wolkerstorfer (@agnoster)

“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.”

        — Louisa May Alcott

“It’s a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.”

        — Franklin P. Jones

“Who is more foolish, the child afraid of the dark or the man afraid of the light?”

        — Maurice Freehill

“If you can put an axe through it, it’s hardware; if you want to put an axe through it, it’s software.”

        — Unknown

“Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”

        — Les Brown

“The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.”

        — Edward Phelps

“I was a goth for two years. It turned out I was depressed.”

        — Toby Hede, “Things I have learned from a lifetime of failure” Ignite Melbourne 2010

“Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind.”

        — Calvin Coolidge

“The aim of psychoanalysis is to relieve people of their neurotic unhappiness so that they can be normally unhappy.”

        — Sigmund Freud

“The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.”

        — Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better.”

        — Samuel Beckett

“If you would not be forgotten as soon as you are dead, either write things worth reading or do things worth writing.”

        — Benjamin Franklin

“If God has created us in His image, we have more than returned the compliment.”

        — Voltaire

“It’s easy to make someone’s day just by being uncommonly pleasant to them.”

        — David Cain

“‘Need’ is irrelevant here. People do not need phones. They need food, shelter, and running faster than lions.”

        — Thomas Pornin in The DMZ

“The best rose-bush, after all, is not that which has the fewest thorns, but that which bears the finest roses.”

        — Henry Van Dyke

“I am having an out of money experience.”

        — Unknown

“All our knowledge transfer was done in person using heavy sarcasm and obscure hand waving.”

        — David Tate, Companies that support remote workers win against those that don’t

“Go the extra mile. It’s never crowded.”

        — Unknown

“There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.”

        — Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”

        — Satchel Paige

“Most passport pictures are good likenesses, and it is time we faced it.”

        — Katharine Brush

“Change is not a bolt of lightning that arrives with a zap. It is a bridge built brick by brick, every day”

        — Sarah Hepola

“Winners win and losers have meetings.”

        — Ozzie Guillen

“The best rose-bush, after all, is not that which has the fewest thorns, but that which bears the finest roses.”

        — Henry Van Dyke

“Happiness is a direction, not a place.”

        — Sydney J. Harris

“No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim.”

        — Russian Proverb

“A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they’re dead.”

        — Leo Rosten

“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it.”

        — Jonathan Winters

“Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.”

        — Benny Hill

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.”

        — Albert Einstein

“If at first you don’t succeed, that’s one data point.”

        — xkcd by Randall Munroe

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”

        — Jennifer Yane

“It’s not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It’s what you do with your life that counts.”

        — Millard Fuller

“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.”

        — Mark Twain

“If the claws didn’t retract, cats would be like Velcro.”

        — Bruce Fogle

“You can’t wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.”

        — Navajo Proverb

“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.”

        — Ashleigh Brilliant

“If everybody thought before they spoke, the silence would be deafening.”

        — George Barzan

“Sticks in a bundle are unbreakable.”

        — Kenyan proverb