“I quote others only in order the better to express myself.”

        — Michel de Montaigne

“Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.”

        — Rich Kulawiec

“The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.”

        — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles at it.”

        — Margaret Fuller

“We come into this world head first and go out feet first; in between, it is all a matter of balance.”

        — Paul Boese

“Parenthood is a lot easier to get into than out of.”

        — Bruce Lansky

“Perfect pitch is when you throw a banjo into a trash can and hit an accordion.”

        — Willie Nelson

“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

        — Albert Einstein

“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”

        — Unknown

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

        — John Wooden

“I guess cows aren’t into the four food groups, especially when they are two of them.”

        — Anthony Clark

“Easy reading is damn hard writing.”

        — Nathaniel Hawthorne

“The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.”

        — Kin Hubbard

“I don’t know why people are so keen to put the details of their private life in public; they forget that invisibility is a superpower.”

        — Banksy

“As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.”

        — Joan Gussow

“Too many parents make life hard for their children by trying, too zealously, to make it easy for them.”

        — Johann von Goethe

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

        — Dale Carnegie

“People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.”

        — Abigail Van Buren

“A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation.”

        — James Freeman Clarke

“The ABC’s of Life: Accept differences; Be kind; Clear your browser history.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow colour blind.”

        — Austin O’Malley

“No individual raindrop considers itself responsible for the flood.”

        — Unknown

“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.”

        — Seen on an insurance form

(Happy mothers’ day.)

“Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. We launch a bird into pigs.”

        — George Bray (@GeorgeBray)

“Life is a beta.”

        — Jeff Jarvis, TEDx NYED

“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”

        — Derek Bok

“Vegetarian: A person who eats only side dishes.”

        — Gerald Lieberman

“HTTP is the dial tone of the web.”

        — Chris Tucker

“If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?”

        — Unknown

“A vegetarian is a person who won’t eat anything that can have children.”

        — David Brenner