“May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.”

        — Joey Adams

“The first sign of corruption in a society that is still alive is that the end justifies the means.”

        — Georges Bernanos, The Last Essays of Georges Bernanos (1955), “Why Freedom?”

“Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered – either by themselves or by others.”

        — Mark Twain

“The obstacle is the path.”

        — Zen Proverb

“Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.”

        — Unknown

“A Merry Christmas to all my friends except two.”

        — W. C. Fields

“If nothing changed, there’d be no butterflies.”

        — Unknown

“What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.”

        — Pearl Bailey

“My writing process: 50 percent pacing, 20 percent snacks, 18 percent furious weeping, 12 percent actual writing.”

        — Brendan I. Koerner (@brendankoerner)

“Weeks of programming can save you hours of planning.”

        — Unknown

“There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.”

        — Laurence Peter

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

        — Aesop

“The love of one’s country is a splendid thing. But why should love stop at the border?”

        — Pablo Casals

“There’s a word for a writer who never gives up… published.”

        — Joe Konrath

“Always back the horse named self-interest, son. It’ll be the only one trying.”

        — Jack Lang

“There are only two kinds of [programming] languages: the ones people complain about and the ones nobody uses.”

        — Bjarne Stroustrup

“Liz is different from all the other girls I’ve known. For one thing, she likes me.”

        — Jon, Garfield

“People are people through other people.”

        — African Proverb

“People who are brutally honest get more satisfaction out of the brutality than out of the honesty.”

        — Richard J. Needham

“A teacher affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops.”

        — Henry Brooks Adams

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”

        — John F. Kennedy

“The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose.”

        — William E. Simon

“A Platypus is a duck designed by a committee.”

        — Unknown

“Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.”

        — Ann Landers

“Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second.”

        — William James

“My project is 90% done. I hope the second half goes as well.”

        — Scott W. Ambler (@scottwambler

“Good design is clear thinking made visible. Bad design is stupidity made visible.”

        — Edward Tufte

“We must have reasons for speech but we need none for silence.”

        — Proverb

“Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?”

        — Ernest Gaines

“God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.”

        — Unknown

“He flung himself upon his horse and rode madly off in all directions.”

        — Stephen Leacock

“The difference between a stupid man and a wise one is the stupid man’s inability to calculate the consequences of the action. The same goes for government.”

        — Brian Penton

“If a web site goes down, and there’s nobody searching for it, is it really offline?”

        — Gary Markstein and Anthony Rubino Jr, Daddy’s Home

“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.”

        — Edmund Burke

“Ours is the age which is proud of machines that think and suspicious of men who try to.”

        — Howard Mumford Jones

“Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.”

        — Robert Byrne

“Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”

        — Unknown

“I was married by a judge – I should have asked for a jury.”

        — Groucho Marx

“To perceive Christmas through its wrappings becomes more difficult with every year.”

        — E. B. White

“So long as there’s a jingle in your head, television isn’t free.”

        — Jason Love

“Always kiss your children good night, even if they’re already asleep.”

        — H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking.”

        — Alfred Korzybski

“The biggest mistake men make is thinking they have to even remotely understand what it is that they’re apologising for.”

        — Caprice Crane (@CapricecCrane)

“The law locks up the man who steals the goose from the common, but leaves the greater criminal loose who steals the common from the goose.”

        — Australian convict saying

“Do you love me because I am beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?”

        — Cinderella by Oscar Hammerstein II

“No, no, you’re not thinking; you’re just being logical.”

        — Niels Bohr

“The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.”

        — Unknown

“Wear a smile and have friends; wear a scowl and have wrinkles.”

        — George Eliot

“Programming is 10% science, 20% ingenuity, and 70% getting the ingenuity to work with the science.”

        — Unknown

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”

        — Dr. Seuss A.K.A. Theodore Giesel

“A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.”

        — Greek proverb

“Growth for growth’s sake is the ideology of the cancer cell.”

        — Edward Abbey

“As user friendly as a cornered rat.”

        — Seen in a software review

“A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.”

        — Nelson Mandela

“Nobody cares how much you know, until they know how much you care.”

        — Theodore Roosevelt

“UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.”

        — Dennis Ritchie (1941–2011)

“A company that focuses solely on profits ultimately betrays both itself and society.”

        — Bill Hewlett and David Packard

“Kindness has converted more people than zeal, science, or eloquence.”

        — Mother Teresa

“They make it look so easy. Connecting with another human being. It’s like no one told them it’s the hardest thing in the world.”

        — Dexter, “The Big One”

“Thinking big generally scares everyone.”

        — Neil Gilmer

“It is good for us to keep some account of our prayers, that we may not unsay them in our practice.”

        — Matthew Henry

“Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.”

        — Unknown

“It is expecting too much for a politician to be sincerely interested in the free flow of information.”

        — Graham Perkins

“The English are not a very spiritual people, so they invented cricket to give them some idea of eternity”

        — George Bernard Shaw

“If you are using PowerPoint to even 25% of its potential, your presentation will probably suck.”

        — Karl Seguin, Goodbye Microsoft Office

How can we call ourselves “evolved” when signs are needed to remind people to wash their hands after they go to the bathroom?

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.”

        — Flash Rosenberg

“You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.”

        — Bonnie Prudden

“Everything in moderation, including moderation.”

        — Unknown

“Give someone a program, and you’ll frustrate them for a day. Teach someone to program, and you’ll frustrate them for a lifetime.”

        — Unknown

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work and learning from failure.”

        — Colin Powell

“Depressed people think they know themselves, but maybe they only know depression.”

        — Mark Epstein

“Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.”

        — John F. Kennedy, 1962

“Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.”

        — Mae West

“The best possible company management is one that combines a sense of corporate greatness and destiny, with empathy for, and fidelity to, the average employee.”

        — Bill Hewlett and David Packard

“Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.”

        — Will Rogers

“I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.”

        — John Locke

“Preconceived notions are the locks on the door to wisdom.”

        — Merry Browne

“Take from the altars of the past the fire – not the ashes.”

        — Jean Jaures

“No matter what it is I’m doing, there’s always about an 85% chance I’m supposed to be doing something else.”

        — Caprice Crane (@CapricecCrane)

“Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week”

        — Spanish Proverb

“A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.”

        — H. L. Mencken

“A man’s feet should be planted in his country, but his eyes should survey the world.”

        — George Santayana

“Bread for myself is a material question. Bread for my neighbour is a spiritual one.”

        — Nikolai Bardlyaev

“Vegetarian – that’s an old Indian word meaning ‘lousy hunter.’”

        — Andy Rooney

“Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.”

        — Zen Proverb

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.”

        — Joseph Conrad

“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.”

        — Mignon McLaughlin

“Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use.”

        — Charles Schulz

“A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.”

        — William Faulkner

“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, ‘It might have been’.”

        — John Greenleaf Whittier

“Great minds have purposes, little minds have wishes.”

        — Washington Irving

“I think it’s adorable when people assume I’m interested in anything they have to say before I’ve had my coffee.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

        — Mark Twain

“Well done is better than well said.”

        — Benjamin Franklin

“The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on the list!”

        — Unknown

“If it ain’t broke, it’s probably a banker.”

        — Dolly (@TheDollSays)

“It’s great to be great but it’s greater to be human.”

        — Will Rogers

“You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.”

        — Bonnie Prudden

“Bore: A man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company.”

        — Gian Vincenzo Gravina

“Why not go out on a limb? Isn’t that where the fruit is?”

        — Frank Scully

“I have always imagined that paradise will be a kind of library.”

        — Jorge Luis Borges

“Be curious, not judgemental.”

        — Walt Whitman

“I am no longer willing to drive toward the future, using the rear-view mirror as my means of navigation.”

        — Anthony Robbins

“He bites his tongue who speaks in haste.”

        — Turkish Proverb

“Yesterday. All those backups seemed a waste of pay. Now my database has gone away. Oh, I believe in yesterday.”

        — Ben Simo (@QualityFrog)

“If you cannot win, make the one ahead of you break the record.”

        — Jan McKeithen

“Every great advance in science has issued from a new audacity of imagination.”

        — John Dewey

“I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no longer figure out how to use my telephone.”

        — Bjarne Stroustrup

“Technology doesn’t make us dumb. It just allows us to make others aware of how dumb we are.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”

        — Robert Louis Stevenson

“I’d rather regret the things I have done than the things I haven’t done.”

        — Lucille Ball

“Risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”

        — Leo Buscaglia

“Show me a person who doesn’t like to laugh and I’ll show you a person with a toe tag.”

        — Julia Roberts

“Process is an embedded reaction to prior stupidity.”

        — Clay Shirky

“A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.”

        — Barnett Cocks

“Silence was never written down.”

        — Italian Proverb

“Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass… it’s about learning how to dance in the rain.”

        — Vivian Greene

“People always call it luck when you’ve acted more sensibly than they have.”

        — Anne Tyler

“A man in the house is worth two in the street.”

        — Mae West

“On this shrunken globe, men can no longer live as strangers.”

        — Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

“We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly by embracing one another.”

        — Luciano de Crescenzo

“Abnormal: doing something more often than a psychologist would.”

        — Tony Atwood, MSc PhD AFBPsS MAPS MCCP

“The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads. That sucks.”

        — Jeff Hammerbacher

“One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you’re feeling blue is that he doesn’t try to find out why.”

        — Unknown

“Libraries: The medicine chest of the soul.”

        — Library at Thebes, inscription over the door

“The worst thing to be is successful as someone else.”

        — Jay-Z

“What we see depends mainly on what we look for.”

        — John Lubbock

“Never be afraid to try, remember… Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.”

        — Unknown

“Once the last developer is locked up and the last idea patented you will realise that lawyers can’t program.”

        — Christian Heilmann (@codepo8)

“Every time someone makes a programming tool for people who can’t program, you get programs written by people who can’t program.”

        — Scott Bellware (@ampgt)

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

        — Carrie Fisher

“There’s no thief like a bad movie.”

        — Sam Ewing

“To listen to some devout people, one would imagine that God never laughs.”

        — Ghose Aurobindo

“If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.”

        — Unknown

“You only have to succeed the last time.”

        — Brian Tracy

“Home is where you hang your @.”

        — Unknown

“For business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.”

        — Mark Twain

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”

        — Reba McEntire

“Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.”

        — Ursula K. Le Guin

“Three words, eight letters, three syllables, five vowels, three consonants, two nouns, one emotion, many meanings, a big lie, a rare truth: I LOVE YOU!”

        — MJ (@_iamMJ)

“Listen to many, speak to a few.”

        — William Shakespeare

“God writes a lot of comedy. The trouble is, he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny.”

        — Garrison Keillor

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.”

        — Saint Augustine

“Labour disgraces no man; unfortunately, you occasionally find men who disgrace labour.”

        — Ulysses S. Grant

“I don’t wanna live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light.”

        — Woody Allen

“Serendipity is not randomness, serendipity […] is unexpected relevance.”

        — Jeff Jarvis, This Week in Google

“The heart is the first feature of working minds.”

        — Frank Lloyd Wright

“All the coffee in Columbia won’t make me a morning person.”

        — Unknown

“Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.”

        — George Jean Nathan

“There are two seasons in Scotland: June and winter.”

        — Billy Connolly

“There are those that avoid failure, and those that seek success; those that avoid complexity, and those that seek simplicity.”

        — Simon Harris (@haruki_zaemon)

“There is nothing more genuine than breaking away from the chorus to learn the sound of your own voice.”

        — Po Bronson

“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humour to console him for what he is.”

        — Francis Bacon

“Corporate policy is the great leveller, allows the gibbering idiot not to think and drives the intelligent to gibbering idiocy.”

        — Adam Donnison

“Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.”

        — Max L. Forman

“In a perfect world, you and I probably wouldn’t exists, so let’s not hope for one.”

        — Ze Frank, The Show, 18 Apr 2006

“A library is thought in cold storage.”

        — Herbert Samuel

“Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.”

        — Garrison Keillor

“The object-oriented version of ‘Spaghetti code’ is, of course, ‘Lasagna code’. (Too many layers).”

        — Roberto Waltman

“The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it’s more like a tired feeling.”

        — Paula Poundstone

“The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.”

        — Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

“A morning without coffee is like sleep.”

        — Unknown

“Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.”

        — Turkish Proverb

“Does anybody remember Microsoft? They use to be a big company.”

        — Mitch Wagner, This Week in Google

Javascript had to “look like Java” only less so, be Java’s dumb kid brother or boy-hostage sidekick. Plus, I had to be done in ten days or something worse than Javascript would have happened.

        — Brendan Eich, creator of Javascript

“Never discourage anyone who continually makes progress, no matter how slow.”

        — Plato

“Saints are sinners who kept on going.”

        — Robert Louis Stevenson

“The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.”

        — Rita Mae Brown

“I quote others only in order the better to express myself.”

        — Michel de Montaigne

“Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.”

        — Rich Kulawiec

“The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.”

        — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles at it.”

        — Margaret Fuller

“We come into this world head first and go out feet first; in between, it is all a matter of balance.”

        — Paul Boese

“Parenthood is a lot easier to get into than out of.”

        — Bruce Lansky

“Perfect pitch is when you throw a banjo into a trash can and hit an accordion.”

        — Willie Nelson

“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

        — Albert Einstein

“If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”

        — Unknown

“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”

        — John Wooden

“I guess cows aren’t into the four food groups, especially when they are two of them.”

        — Anthony Clark

“Easy reading is damn hard writing.”

        — Nathaniel Hawthorne

“The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.”

        — Kin Hubbard

“I don’t know why people are so keen to put the details of their private life in public; they forget that invisibility is a superpower.”

        — Banksy

“As for butter versus margarine, I trust cows more than chemists.”

        — Joan Gussow

“Too many parents make life hard for their children by trying, too zealously, to make it easy for them.”

        — Johann von Goethe

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

        — Dale Carnegie

“People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.”

        — Abigail Van Buren

“A politician thinks of the next election; a statesman thinks of the next generation.”

        — James Freeman Clarke

“The ABC’s of Life: Accept differences; Be kind; Clear your browser history.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow colour blind.”

        — Austin O’Malley

“No individual raindrop considers itself responsible for the flood.”

        — Unknown

“I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.”

        — Seen on an insurance form

(Happy mothers’ day.)

“Your mobile phone has more computing power than all of NASA in 1969. NASA launched a man to the moon. We launch a bird into pigs.”

        — George Bray (@GeorgeBray)

“Life is a beta.”

        — Jeff Jarvis, TEDx NYED

“If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.”

        — Derek Bok

“Vegetarian: A person who eats only side dishes.”

        — Gerald Lieberman

“HTTP is the dial tone of the web.”

        — Chris Tucker

“If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?”

        — Unknown

“A vegetarian is a person who won’t eat anything that can have children.”

        — David Brenner

“Git gets easier once you get the basic idea that branches are homeomorphic endofunctors mapping submanifolds of a Hilbert space.”

        — Isaac Wolkerstorfer (@agnoster)

“A lie has speed, but truth has endurance.”

        — Edgar J. Mohn

“So much complexity in software comes from trying to make one thing do two things.”

        — Ryan Singer

No matter what your Chinese symbol tattoo says, I’m going to assume the translation is: “Please think I’m cool.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working as soon as you open Windows”

        — Unknown

“He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.”

        — Harold Wilson

“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat.”

        — Lilly Tomlin

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.”

        — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

        — Mae West

“Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don’t think.”

        — Unknown

“It was pretty much an accident because I didn’t mean it!”

        — Raven Hinton, aged 8

“The two best weapons for fighting off the demons of fear: laughter and math. I’m lousy at math.”

        — Jake Adelstein (@jakeadelstein)

“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.”

        — Jack London

“It isn’t kind to cultivate a friendship just so one will have an audience.”

        — Lawana Blackwell

“One man’s constant is another man’s variable.”

        — Alan Perlis

“Dig the well before you are thirsty.”

        — Chinese Proverb

“Arrogance and rudeness are training wheels on the bicycle of life – for weak people who cannot keep their balance without them.”

        — Laura Teresa Marquez

“Education - The ability to quote Shakespeare without crediting it to the Bible.”

        — Evan Edgar

“Decorate yourself from the inside out.”

        — Terri Guillemets

“Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can.”

        — Danny Kaye

“Ironically, making a statement with words is the least effective method.”

        — Grey Livingston

“Twitter spoils us. If only we could limit people in real life to 140 characters or less.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“A gentleman is someone who can play the accordion but doesn’t.”

        — Tom Waits

“No absolute is going to make the lion lie down with the lamb unless the lamb is inside.”

        — D. H. Lawrence

“Men are taught to apologise for their weaknesses, women for their strengths.”

        — Lois Wyse

“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.”

        — Lily Tomlin

“Our marriage was built on mutual trust and a lot of acting ability.”

        — Unknown

“If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.”

        — Unknown

“People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.”

        — Dale Carnegie

“Labels are for cans, not for people.”

        — Andy Warhol

“Men play the game; women know the score.”

        — Roger Waddis

“People who don’t take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year. People who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.”

        — Peter Drucker

“I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”

        — Unknown

“Having your book turned into a movie is like seeing your oxen turned into bouillon cubes.”

        — John LeCarre

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple”

        — Dr. Seuss A.K.A. Theodore Giesel

“Hate leaves ugly scars, love leaves beautiful ones.”

        — Mignon McLaughlin

“Sometimes there is a silver bullet for boosting software engineering productivity. But you need to shoot the right person.”

        — Michael Stal (@stal_m)

“Sometimes the first duty of intelligent men is the restatement of the obvious.”

        — George Orwell

“Moore’s Law of Mad Science: Every eighteen months, the minimum IQ necessary to destroy the world drops by one point.”

        — Eliezer Yudkowsky

“Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living; the other helps you make a life.”

        — Sandra Carey

“Kindness in words creates confidence; kindness in thinking creates profoundness; kindness in giving creates love.”

        — Lao Tzu

“Those who play with cats must expect to be scratched.”

        — Miguel de Cervantes

“Age wrinkles the body. Quitting wrinkles the soul.”

        — Douglas MacArthur

“A university is just a group of buildings gathered around a library.”

        — Shelby Foote

“I prefer the word homemaker, because housewife always implies that there may be a wife someplace else.”

        — Bella Abzug

“If we desire respect for the law, we must first make the law respectable.”

        — Louis D. Brandeis

“My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.”

        — Groucho Marx

“Love is like Pi – natural, irrational, and VERY important.”

(Happy Pi day.)

“The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.”

        — Mark Russell

“Find love when you have time, and find time when you already found the one to love.”

        — Terry Pratchett

“Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.”

        — George Bernard Shaw

“Being realistic is the most commonly travelled road to mediocrity.”

        — Will Smith

“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.”

        — Richard Bach

“To know what is right and not do it is the worst cowardice.”

        — Confucius

It raises unwelcome questions when a restaurant puts unnecessary quote marks around a menu item, like “hamburger.”

        — Andy Borowitz (@BorowitzReport)

“The more laws the more offenders.”

        — Thomas Fuller

“It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.”

        — Upton Sinclair

“Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”

        — Kimberly Johnson

“Seek simplicity, and distrust it.”

        — Alfred North Whitehead, mathematician & philosopher

“I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have déjà vu.”

        — Jane Wagner

“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.”

        — Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“Exercise machines are just torture devices with better marketing campaigns.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Everybody always talks about the weather, but no one ever does anything about it.”

        — Mark Twain

“No one plans to fail. They just go online. Then check their e-mail. Then go to twitter… and it just happens organically.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”

        — Lucy Van Pelt (in Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz)

“Dogs with thumbs would make you coffee, cats with thumbs would steal your car.”

        — Richard Stevens (@rstevens)

“And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.”

        — Erica Jong

“Everybody wants to eat at the government’s table, but nobody wants to do the dishes.”

        — Werner Finck

“The cure for a fallacious argument is a better argument, not the suppression of ideas.”

        — Carl Sagan

“Don’t fall in love, Odie. You already act stupid enough.”

        — Garfield (by Jim Davis)

“In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.”

        — Paul Eldridge

“Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, a touch that never hurts.”

        — Charles Dickens

“My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.”

        — Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., Speech in Detroit, 7 Oct 1952

“Lo, I have wrangled with ftp and the command line and I have emerged victorious if slightly queasy.”

        — Sarah Stokely (@stokely)

“Start every day with a smile and get it over with.”

        — W. C. Fields

“It’s better to crash into a nap than to nap into a crash.”

        — Unknown

“Daughters are like flowers, they fill the world with beauty, and sometimes attract pests.”

        — Unknown

“I think of optimism as a brave choice rather than an ignorant position.”

        — Unknown

“War does not determine who is right, only who is left.”

        — Bertrand Russell

“You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.”

        — Unknown

“Weekends are a bit like rainbows; they look good from a distance but disappear when you get up close to them.”

        — John Shirley

“The latest new features in C++ are designed to fix the previously new features in C++”

        — David Jameson

“I named my kitten Rose: fur soft as a petal, claws sharper than thorns.”

        — Astrid Alauda

“An alternative spelling of passive aggressive is ‘mum’.”

        — Miss Cook

“Words without actions are the assassins of idealism.”

        — Herbert Hoover

“Nobody stands taller than those willing to stand corrected.”

        — William Safire

“Reality shows are great because they let you watch dysfunctional people without an annoying mirror.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“I married beneath me - all women do.”

        — Nancy Astor

“Life is far too short not to have a little umbrella in your drink.”

        — Leigh Standley

“Forever is composed of nows.”

        — Emily Dickinson

“C++ are the smartest programmers on the planet. If you don’t believe me, ask any one of them.”

        — Don Box

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.”

        — George E. Woodberry

“I don’t understand how the people of Tunisia overthrew their government without me signing an e-petition or changing my Twitter avatar.”

        — Matt Bailey (@mattb811)

“Happiness is not a reward – it’s a consequence. Suffering is not a punishment – it’s a result.”

        — Robert Ingersoll

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”

        — Charles M. Schulz

“Always be nice to people on the way up; because you’ll meet the same people on the way down.”

        — Wilson Mizner

“If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.”

        — Oliver Herford

“PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals.”

        — Jon Ribbens

“What one programmer can do in one month, two programmers can do in two months.”

        — Fred Brooks

“Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess.”

        — Edna Woolman Chase

“The last good thing written in C was Franz Schubert’s Symphony No. 9.”

        — Werner Trobin

“Every man is born as many men and dies as a single one.”

        — Martin Heidegger

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”

        — Leo Tolstoy

“Character is doing the right thing when nobody’s looking. There are too many people who think that the only thing that’s right is to get by, and the only thing that’s wrong is to get caught.”

        — J. C. Watts

I confessed to my mother that I’ve been hallucinating again and she said, “Well, at least, you’re seeing someone.”

        — Mr. Won’t (@Brain_Wash)

“It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s Law.”

        — Hofstadter’s Law

“A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.”

        — Erin Major

“C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success.”

        — Dennis M. Ritchie

“I can picture in my mind a world without war and without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they’d never expect it.”

        — Jack Handey (@Thinking_Deep)

“The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.”

        — Lucille Ball

“Never try to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.”

        — Robert Heinlein

“Outside noisy, inside empty.”

        — Chinese Proverb

“The number of those who undergo the fatigue of judging for themselves is very small indeed.”

        — Richard Brinsley Sheridan, The Critic

“The day Microsoft makes something that doesn’t suck is probably the day they start making vacuum cleaners.”

        — Ernst Jan Plugge

“Perl – The only language that looks the same before and after RSA encryption.”

        — Keith Bostic

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.”

        — Josephine Hart, Damage

“I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn’t show up in a Unix directory listing.”

        — Oktal

“Perfection [in design] is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.”

        — St Antoine de Exupéry

“Good design adds value faster than it adds cost.”

        — Thomas C. Gale

“May this new decade be one of diversity instead of paranoia, of forgiveness instead of punishment, of equality instead of privilege.”

        — Van Badham (@vanbadham)