“There is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life – reciprocity.”

        — Confucius

“I tried twittering but I got thrush.”

        — Dennise Drysdale, Hey Hey It’s Saturday

“A truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone.”

        — Jo Godwin

“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving words in evidence of the fact.”

        — George Elliot

“A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.”

        — The Knights of Pythagoras

“No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.”

        — Dave Barry

“When a diplomat says yes he means perhaps; when he says perhaps he means no; when he says no he is no diplomat.”

        — Otto von Bismarck

“My husband lets me have all the scrapbooking supplies I can hide.”

        — Unknown

“I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.”

        — Franklin D. Roosevelt

“No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.”

        — Sam Rayburn

“Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should get used to it.”

        — Robert Heinlein

“Programming is an art form that fights back.”

“To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.”

        — Charles de Montesquieu

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”

        — Bertha Calloway

“What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”

        — C. S. Lewis

“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.”

        — Lynda Barry

“Losers quit when they’re tired. Winners quit when they’ve won.”

        — Unknown

“A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.”

        — Howard Scott

“Television has changed a child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.”

        — Laurence J. Peter

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

        — F. Scott Fitzgerald

“The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.”

        — W. Somerset Maugham

“A pun is the lowest form of humour, unless you thought of it yourself.”

        — Doug Larson

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”

        — Plato

“People can be taught to hate. And people can be taught to spell. But apparently, it’s one or the other.”

        — Caprice Crane

“A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“I saw `cout’ being shifted “Hello world” times to the left and stopped right there.”

        — Steve Gonedes

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”

        — Socrates

“The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand.”

        — Lewis Thomas

“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”

        — Mark Twain

“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.”

        — Joan Rivers