“Habits are at first cobwebs, then cables.”

        — Spanish Proverb

“Work like you owe money to a Russian, love like you’ve never looked in the mirror, dance like a drunk badger attacking a hedge.”

        — Dolly (@TheDollSays) #

“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.”

        — Ralph Waldo Emerso

Debt, n.

An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave driver.

        — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

“What is more important in a library than anything else - than everything else - is the fact that it exists.”

        — Archibald MacLeish

“Then what are we fighting for?”

        — Winston Churchill in response to a suggestion of cutting arts funding to support the war effort

“There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.”

        — Erma Bombeck

Merry Christmas to the child in all of us.

“They say a lie gets halfway around the world before the truth gets its pants on. Why the truth is pantsless, no one mentions.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane)

“Design without a cost target is just art class”

        — Clothing designer from Nike

“If it’s a new problem, perhaps it demands a new approach. If it’s an old problem, it certainly does.”

        — Seth Godin

“Never let your past dictate who you are, but let it be a part of who you’ll become.”

        — Nick Portokalos

“Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream.”

        — Malcolm Muggeridge

“You can’t plough a field by turning it over in your mind.”

        — Irish Proverb

“The way to get things done is not to mind who gets the credit for doing them.”

        — Benjamin Jowett

“For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.”

        — Clifton Fadiman

“God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another”

        — William Shakespeare, Hamlet Act III Scene I

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”

        — Paul Boese

“Americans will always reach for their lawyers first.”

        — Neil Brennan, Ignite Melbourne 2010

“The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.”

        — Plato

“Critical decisions need to be made as late as possible, but before they make themselves.”

        — Mary Poppendieck, YOW! 2010

“Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.”

        — Horace Mann

“Learning to ignore things is one of the great paths to inner peace”

        — Robert J. Sawyer

“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”

        — Henry Winkler

“I see dance being used as communication between body and soul, to express what is too deep to find for words.”

        — Ruth St. Denis

“Sysops people need to think of servers as cattle rather than pets…”

        — Michael Nygard, YOW! 2010

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.’”

        — Isaac Asimov

“Some people are like slinkies – not really good for anything, but they bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.”

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.”

        — Antoine de Saint Exupéry

“He was jeopardising his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.”

        — Joseph Heller, Catch-22

“You never truly understand concurrency until you’ve had your second child”

        — Old Erlang saying

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little.”

        — Sydney Smith

“Don’t let people drive you crazy when you know it’s in walking distance.”

        — Unknown

“On my best days I know there is God.”

        — Gordon Atkinson

“Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.”

        — Victor Borge

“Fortunately excitement is one of the contagious things children carry.”

        — Tatu Saloranta (@cowtowncoder)

“Men argue, nature acts.”

        — Voltaire

“Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment.”

        — Ira Gassen

“Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it.”

        — Unknown

“It wasn’t until late in life that I discovered how easy it is to say ‘I don’t know’.”

        — W. Somerset Maugham

“I praise loudly, I blame softly.”

        — Catherine the Great

“Music is an outburst of the soul.”

        — Frederick Delius

“Your religion is what you do when the sermon is over.”

        — H. Jackson Brown Jr.

“To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there’s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other.”

        — Jack Handey

“I may not be there yet, but I’m closer than I was yesterday.”

        — Unknown

“The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.”

        — Lane Olinghouse

“Indecision becomes decision with time.”

        — Unknown

“When you judge someone it doesn’t define who they are, it defines who you are”

        — Unknown

“I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample underfoot.”

        — Horace Greeley

“A thousand words will not leave so deep an impression as one deed.”

        — Henrik Ibsen

“The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears that this is true.”

        — James Branch Cabell

He who think by the inch,
and talk by the mile,
ought to be kicked by the foot.

“Respect for the truth is an acquired taste.”

        — Mark van Doren

“God loved the birds and invented trees. Man loved the birds and invented cages”

        — Jacques Deval

“The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it.”

        — W. M. Lewis

“I have 1,500 Facebook friends, and I don’t know who any of them are.”

        — Unknown #

“Progress always involves risks. You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.”

        — Frederick B. Wilcox

“Someday humanity will defeat Skynet by installing iTunes and McAfee on it.”

        — Lowell (@howtogeek)

“Good things come to those who bait.”

“Like I’ve always said, love wouldn’t be blind if the braille weren’t so damned much fun.”

        — Armistead Maupin, Maybe the Moon

“Never wear anything that panics the cat.”

        — P. J. O’Rourke

“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.”

        — George Best

“Just think of the tragedy of teaching children not to doubt.”

        — Clarence Darrow

“Failure is an event, never a person.”

        — William D. Brown

“Call on God, but row away from the rocks.”

        — Hunter S. Thompson

“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.”

        — Paul Fix

“Nobody realises that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”

        — Albert Camus

“Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn’t music.”

        — William Stafford

“I love mankind; it’s people I can’t stand.”

        — Charles M. Schulz

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

        — Albert Einstein

“You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.”

        — P. J. O’Rourke

“Almost anything is easier to get into than to get out of.”

        — Agnes Allen

“Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.”

COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled.

“It is useless for sheep to pass resolutions in favour of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion.”

        — William Ralph Inge

“The weirder you’re going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.”

        — P. J. O’Rourke

“When I was young, I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older, I admire kind people.”

        — Abraham Joshua Heschel

“I don’t mind suffering is silence, as long as everyone knows I’m suffering in silence."

        — Boho the hippopotamus, from the Jungle Doctor story, “Sweet and Sour Hippo”

“I am in favour of preserving the French habit of kissing ladies’ hands - after all, one must start somewhere.”

        — Sacha Guitry

“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly.”

        — Richard Buckminster Fuller

“It’s easier to act your way into a new way of thinking than to think your way into a new way of acting.”

        — Millard Fuller

“If you think hiring a professional is expensive, wait till you hire an amateur.”

        — Red Adair

“Being a creator of software systems is like being a god. Only without the omnipotence, omnipresence or omniscience.”

        — Brent Snook (@brentsnook)

“When C++ is your hammer, everything starts to look like your thumb.”

        — Amazon interview candidate

“Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark.”

        — Rabindranath Tagore

“Socialising on the internet is to socialising, what reality TV is to reality.”

        — Aaron Sorkin

“I’ve been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.”

        — Lee Grant

“Life must be lived forward, but can only be understood backward.”

        — Soren Kierkegaard

“Change is inevitable. Unless you need it to feed the parking meter. Then it’s nowhere to be found.”

        — Caprice Crane

“Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.”

        — P. J. O’Rourke

“Capslock does not make technical support want to help you more.”

        — Lindsay (Trampoline Sept 2010)

“Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.”

        — Helen Hays

“Don’t worry that children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you.”

        — Robert Fulghum

“If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say, ‘Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot’, you are wasting everybody’s time.”

        — Julia Segal (@juliasegal)

“Being a good writer is 3% talent, 97% not being distracted by the internet.”

        — Unknown

“The liberation of humanity is all or nothing.”

        — May 1968 Graffiti #

“One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop.”

        — G. M. Weilacher

“If opportunity doesn’t knock, build a door.”

        — Milton Berle

“Lead me not into temptation; I can find the way myself.”

        — Rita Mae Brown

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”

        — Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson

“Stock photos are the bullet points of the twenty-first century.”

        — Martin Fowler

“There’s much to be said for challenging fate instead of ducking behind it.”

        — Diana Trilling

“Young people need models, not critics.”

        — John Wooden

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

        — Anne Frank

“Writing code a computer can understand is science. Writing code other programmers can understand is an art.”

        — Jason Gorman (@jasongorman

“If everything seems under control, you’re just not going fast enough.”

        — Mario Andretti

“Do not repeat anything you will not sign your name to.”

        — Anonymous

“It isn’t the mountains ahead that wear you out, it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.”

        — Unknown

“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

        — Sir Winston Churchill

“The truest characters of ignorance are vanity, pride, and arrogance.”

        — Samuel Butler

“Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners.”

        — Unknown

“A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.”

        — Sidney Greenberg

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

        — Leonardo da Vinci

“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

        — George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman (1903) “Maxims for Revolutionists”

“I used to think I wasn’t a morning person, but things never got better after lunch.”

        — Wally from Dilbert by Scott Adams

“Don’t be sad because its over. Smile because it happened.”

        — Dr. Seuss A.K.A. Theodore Giesel

“The older I grow the more I listen to people who don’t talk much.”

        — Germain G. Glien

“It requires less character to discover the faults of others than is does to tolerate them.”

        — J. Petit Senn

“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”

        — Mark Twain

Happy Fathers’ Day

“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.”

        — Bill Cosby

“The world is wide, and I will not waste my life in friction when it could be turned into momentum.”

        — Frances Willard

“Today I will do what others won’t, so tomorrow I can accomplish what others can’t.”

        — Jerry Rice

“It’s easy to make a buck. It’s a lot tougher to make a difference.”

        — Tom Brokaw

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”

        — Carl Bard

“You can safely assume you have created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”

        — Ann Lamott

“One man with courage makes a majority.”

        — Andrew Jackson

“How come Steve Jobs liver can be replaced, but the battery in my iPod can’t be?”

        — Julias Shaw (@mentalartist)

“Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”

        — Henry Van Dyke

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average.”

        — M. H. Alderson

“There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way.”

        — Christopher Morley

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”

        — Plato

“The highest reward for a man’s toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it.”

        — John Ruskin

“If we have data, let’s look at data. If all we have are opinions, let’s go with mine.”

        — Jim Barksdale (former Netscape CEO)

“If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal”

        — Emma Goldman

“When you’re in that voting booth with just your conscience and a pen, take the pen because that’s all you’ll ever get out of them.”

“Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it.”

        — David Starr Jordan

“The freedom of others extends mine infinitely.”

        — May 1968 Graffiti #

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

        — Hilary Cooper

“Eagles may soar high, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.”

        — John Benfield

“It was not a laugh but merely a loud smile.”

        — Unknown

“We want structures that serve people, not people serving structures.”

        — May 1968 Graffiti #

“We’ve gotten to the point where everybody’s got a right and nobody’s got a responsibility”

        — Newton Minow

“One irresponsible programmer can keep any five top-notch programmers busy.”

        — Eric Evans

“Institutions will try to preserve the problem to which they are the solution.”

        — Clay Shirky, South by Southwest 2010

“Bing is a great Website for doing Internet searches. I know that, because I Googled it.”

        — Stephen Colbert

“Law is nothing unless close behind it stands a warm living public opinion.”

        — Wendell Phillips

“Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy.”

        — Robert Anthony

“There are 2 hard problems in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-1 errors.”

        — Leon Bambrick (@secretGeek)

“I remember when social networking was something that happened in person. How awkward.”

        — Caprice Crane

“The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly’, meaning ‘many’, and the word ‘ticks’, meaning ‘blood sucking parasites’.”

        — Larry Hardiman

“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

        — Winston Churchill

“At some point the entire universe will become a black, cold, lifeless void. So pass me my damned coffee.”

        — Unknown

“Any sufficiently advanced information is indistinguishable from noise.”

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“There is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one’s life – reciprocity.”

        — Confucius

“I tried twittering but I got thrush.”

        — Dennise Drysdale, Hey Hey It’s Saturday

“A truly great library contains something in it to offend everyone.”

        — Jo Godwin

“Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving words in evidence of the fact.”

        — George Elliot

“A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child.”

        — The Knights of Pythagoras

“No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.”

        — Dave Barry

“When a diplomat says yes he means perhaps; when he says perhaps he means no; when he says no he is no diplomat.”

        — Otto von Bismarck

“My husband lets me have all the scrapbooking supplies I can hide.”

        — Unknown

“I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird, and not enough the bad luck of the early worm.”

        — Franklin D. Roosevelt

“No one has a finer command of language than the person who keeps his mouth shut.”

        — Sam Rayburn

“Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should get used to it.”

        — Robert Heinlein

“Programming is an art form that fights back.”

“To become truly great, one has to stand with people, not above them.”

        — Charles de Montesquieu

“We cannot direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.”

        — Bertha Calloway

“What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”

        — C. S. Lewis

“Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.”

        — Lynda Barry

“Losers quit when they’re tired. Winners quit when they’ve won.”

        — Unknown

“A criminal is a person with predatory instincts who has not sufficient capital to form a corporation.”

        — Howard Scott

“Television has changed a child from an irresistible force to an immovable object.”

        — Laurence J. Peter

“The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”

        — F. Scott Fitzgerald

“The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.”

        — W. Somerset Maugham

“A pun is the lowest form of humour, unless you thought of it yourself.”

        — Doug Larson

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.”

        — Plato

“People can be taught to hate. And people can be taught to spell. But apparently, it’s one or the other.”

        — Caprice Crane

“A man who marries his mistress leaves a vacancy in that position.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“I saw `cout’ being shifted “Hello world” times to the left and stopped right there.”

        — Steve Gonedes

“By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.”

        — Socrates

“The great thing about human language is that it prevents us from sticking to the matter at hand.”

        — Lewis Thomas

“It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.”

        — Mark Twain

“The first time I see a jogger smiling, I’ll consider it.”

        — Joan Rivers

“Religion is like a drug, in small doses it’s curative, in large, it’s addictive.”

        — Eli Gold, The Good Wife

“Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”

“You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.”

        — Charles Buxton

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

        — Oscar Wilde

In reference to the 2010 World Cup: “The French give up, the Americans turn up at the last minute and England are left to face the Germans. Does that ring any bells?”

        — Simon Cuce (@simoncuce)

“I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, ‘Mother, what was war?’”

        — Eve Merriam

“You can’t build a reputation on what you intend to do.”

        — Liz Smith

“At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer.”

        — Marshall Lumsden

“Unix never says ‘please’”

        — Rob Pike

“You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.”

        — Caprice Crane

“I know God wouldn’t give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish He didn’t trust me so much.”

        — Mother Teresa

“Courage is tiny pieces of fear all glued together.”

        — Irisa Hail

“Dear coffee: we had a deal. I’d put you in my body, you would give me super powers. WTF happened?”

        — Cory Doctorow (@doctorow)

“The (computer) mouse is probably the narrowest straw you could try and suck all of human expression through.”

        — Joy Mountford

“It’s good to shut up sometimes.”

        — Marcel Marceau

“The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.”

        — Tom Clancy

“It’s a sad and stupid thing to have to proclaim yourself a revolutionary just to be a decent man.”

        — David Harris

“I loved Git until I tried it. Now I love Mercurial.”

        — Tor Norbye, The Java Posse Podcast

“Organisations are perfectly designed to get the results they get.”

        — David Hanna, Designing Organizations for High Performance

“The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.”

        — Unknown

“I have never lowered myself to name calling, and I’m not about to start on account of that prat.”

        — Unknown

Yesterday it built.
No change; today it does not.
The code has feelings.

        — Pete Goodliffe

“This is everything we asked for but not what we wanted.”

        — Unknown, from Clients From Hell

“May you get to Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you’re dead.”

        — Irish Blessing

“Truth is not determined by majority vote.”

        — Doug Gwyn

“A generous man forgets what he gives and remembers what he receives.”

        — Proverb

“We do not inherit the Earth from our parents, we borrow it from our children.”

        — Antoine de Saint-Exupery

“He who has begun is half done.”

        — Horace

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.”

        — James Oppenheim

“People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”

        — George Bernard Shaw

“Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.”

        — African Proverb

“You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.”

        — Ziggy by Tom Wilson

“It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”

        — John Cassis

“You have reached the Internal Revenue Service. To confess in English, press one…”

        — Ziggy by Tom Wilson

“I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.”

        — Sigmund Freud

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”

        — T. S. Eliot

“A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.”

        — Miguel de Cervantes

“To avoid criticism , do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”

        — Elbert Green Hubbard

“Did St. Francis preach to the birds? Whatever for? If he really liked birds he would have done better to preach to the cats.”

        — Rebecca West

“Whatever your advice, make it brief.”

        — Horace

“Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.”

        — Garth Brooks

“Much good work is lost for the lack of a little more.”

        — Edward H. Harriman

“Don’t judge those who try and fail, judge those who fail to try.”

        — Unknown

“Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”

        — Hanlon’s Razor

“There’s a great power in words, if you don’t hitch too many of them together.”

        — Josh Billings

Hip-hop music that is no longer popular should simply be referred to as “hop.”

        — Fake AP Stylebook (@FakeAPStylebook)

“God is good, but never dance in a small boat.”

        — Irish Saying

“To love would be an awfully big adventure.”

        — J. M. Barrie (Peter Pan)

“A man is called selfish not for pursuing his own good, but for neglecting his neighbour’s.”

        — Richard Whately

“If there were an antisocial networking site, I might join, but what would be the point?”

        — Annoyed Librarian

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”

        — Erma Bombeck

“Treat others as ends, never as means.”

        — Dag Hammerskjold

“Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children.”

        — William Makepeace Thackeray

Happy Mothers’ Day to all.

“No person can be a great leader unless he takes genuine joy in the successes of those under him.”

        — W. A. Nance

“The cat could very well be man’s best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.”

        — Doug Larson

“A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point.”

        — Mistinguett

“We’re not just just humans anymore. We’re not multiple personalities, we’re many personalities… uh, one of my personalities happens to be a multiple personality but that doesn’t make me a multiple personality. I’m looking for a little nuance here.”

        — Alpha, Dollhouse

“The illiterate of the 21st Century won’t be those can’t read and write, but those who can’t learn, unlearn and re-learn.”

        — Alvin Tofler

“Women were meant to be loved, not to be understood.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.”

        — Andre Gide

“The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours.”

        — Arthur Lacey

“A man chases a woman until she catches him.”

        — American Proverb

“You’re making this too complicated when it’s really quite simple. All you have to do is make the software completely configurable so it can do whatever I need it to.”

        — Unknown, from Clients From Hell

“I can’t understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I’m frightened of the old ones.”

        — John Cage

“Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.”

        — Sam Brown

“An intellectual is a man who takes more words than necessary to tell more than he knows.”

        — Dwight Eisenhower

“In waking a tiger, use a long stick”

        — Mao Tse-Tung

“We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don’t know.”

        — W. H. Auden

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe.”

        — Albert Einstein

“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.”

        — Dwight Eisenhower

“To the people who’ve got iPhones: you just bought one, you didn’t invent it!”

        — Marcus Brigstocke

“During a campaign the air is full of speeches – and vice versa.”

        — Unknown

Haikus are easy,
but sometimes they don’t make sense.
Refrigerator

“No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.”

        — Dave Barry

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.”

        — Judy Garland

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.”

        — Rodney Dangerfield

“He was either going to hit somebody or start a blog. To tell you the truth I’m kinda glad he hit you.”

        — “The Magicians” by Lev Grossman

“What little food grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here, even more so.”

        — Hiccup, How to Train Your Dragon

“I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year’s fashion.”

        — Lillian Hellman

“Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.”

        — American Proverb

“The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”

        — Ellie Wiesel

“Buildings and bridges are made to bend in the wind. To withstand the world, that’s what it takes. All that steel and stone is no match for the air, my friend. What doesn’t bend breaks.”

        — Ani DiFranco

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.”

        — Josh Billings

Ode to traffic jams
how I detest this time sink
where are flying cars?

        — Marissa (@dj_marz)

“It’s a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.”

        — Franklin P. Jones

“On the eighth day God created twitter and then all hell broke loose.”

        — Marcus Brown #

“The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing.”

        — Jean Baptiste Colbert

“Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you’”

        — Erich Fromm

“The future is already here – it is just unevenly distributed.”

        — William Gibson

“Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.”

        — Scott Adams

“Friends are God’s apology for family.”

Sometimes seventeen
syllables ain’t enough to
express a complete…

“Everyone is famous for 15 Gigabytes.”

        — Cory Doctorow

“The shortest answer is doing.”

        — George Herbert

“Talk doesn’t cook rice.”

        — Chinese Proverb

“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

        — Friedrich Nietzsche

“People, when they talk about change, are thinking that it’s going to change for other people.”

        — William Gormley

“I know I am getting better at golf because I’m hitting fewer spectators.”

        — Gerald Ford, former U.S. President

“He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death”

        — H. H. Munro

“Relativity applies to physics, not ethics.”

        — Albert Einstein

“The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.”

        — Michelangelo Buonarroti

Go placidly among the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever you labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

        — Anonymous – found in Old St. Paul’s Church, Baltimore, Maryland (dated 1692)

“Mirrors should think longer before they reflect.”

        — Jean Cocteau

“Code indentation is a good idea (although probably not as good an idea as the Python people think)”

        — Marty Pauley

“They say if you play that Microsoft CD backward you hear satanic messages. But that’s nothing, if you play it forward it installs Windows.”

“The best thing to hold on to in life is each other.”

        — Audrey Hepburn

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.”

        — George Burns

“Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling and instinct, not by rule. Nevertheless one had better know the rules, for they sometimes guide in doubtful cases, though not often.”

        — Samuel Butler

“…Plus it’s the only way George Lucas characters will ever be three dimensional.”

        — Peter David

“Stupidity on the Internet is there for everyone to see for all times in perpetuity.”

        — Ron Kuby

“The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.”

        — Plutarch

Hate a liar more than hate a thief. A thief is only after our salary, a liar is after our reality.

“Ever since I discovered Twitter, I’ve been trying to stop using it.”

        — Giles Bowkett

“Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.”

        — Kahlil Gibran

“I am pretty sure no matter what I put in my Facebook status, I won’t cure cancer, help Haiti or raise awareness for anything, except my Facebook status.”

        — Lyz Lenz (@lyzl)

“It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.”

        — Saint Francis of Assisi

“When you sling mud, you lose ground.”

        — Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

“My great mistake, the fault for which I can’t forgive myself, is that one day I ceased my obstinate pursuit of my own individuality.”

        — Oscar Wilde

“I was a goth for two years. It turned out I was depressed.”

        — Toby Hede, “Things I have learned from a lifetime of failure” Ignite Melbourne 2010

“Interpretive dance, when it succeeds, is still a failure.”

        — Toby Hede, “Things I have learned from a lifetime of failure” Ignite Melbourne 2010

“Middle names exist so kids have a clear indication when they are in big trouble.”

        — Michael Lopp (@rands)

“Often we don’t really need advice or guidance from each other. Sometimes we just need a friend to deposit courage into our soul.”

        — Mike Foster

It amazes me that the same people that consider “developers” fungible are upset when the resources consider them equally exchangeable.

        — Torbjörn Gyllebring (@drunkcod)

“A computer without COBOL and Fortran is like a piece of chocolate cake without ketchup and mustard.”

“Twitter: It’s like release early, release often for thinking.”

        — Glyn Moody (Linux.conf.au 2010 keynote)

“The iPhone may be a fascist regime, but the trains run on time and the streets are very well maintained.”

        — Jeff Atwood (@codinghorror)

“Government is like compiling software, you find yourself in dependency hell. We just need a good package manager.”

        — Jason Ryan (@jasonwryan At Linux.conf.au 2010)

Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.

        — Michael Leunig

“Something tells me George Orwell wouldn’t have liked the idea of foursquare.”

        — Ryan (@ryanoncoffee)