“What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.”

        — Oscar Levant

“Too much software productivity is measured by how far the bullet is from the gun, rather than how close it is to the target.”

        — Richard Dalton (@richardadalton) #

“The freedom of others extends mine infinitely.”

        — May 1968 Graffiti #

“Outside show is a poor substitute for inner worth.”

        — Aesop

“Decorate yourself from the inside out.”

        — Terri Guillemets

“One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at politeness.”

        — Josh Billings

“Reality shows are great because they let you watch dysfunctional people without an annoying mirror.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane) #

“Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.”

        — Indira Gandhi

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.”

        — Don Marquis

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.’”

        — Isaac Asimov

“Don’t look where you fall, but where you slipped.”

        — African Proverb

“C++ is history repeated as tragedy. Java is history repeated as farce.”

        — Scott McKay

“For business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.”

        — Mark Twain

“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.”

        — Robert Louis Stevenson

“Disbelief in magic can force a poor soul into believing in government and business.”

        — Tom Robbins

“There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.”

        — Will Rogers

“Start every day with a smile and get it over with.”

        — W. C. Fields

“Gaze not into the abyss, lest you become recognized as an abyss domain expert, and they expect you keep gazing into the damn thing.”

        — Nick Mathewson #

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”

        — Hilary Cooper

“Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don’t think.”

        — Unknown

“You have reached the Internal Revenue Service. To confess in English, press one…”

        — Ziggy by Tom Wilson #

“Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice.”

        — Grey’s law

“Courage is knowing it might hurt, and doing it anyway. Supidity is the same. And that’s why life is hard.”

        — Jeremy Goldberg

“He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death”

        — H. H. Munro

“Twitter: It’s like release early, release often for thinking.”

        — Glyn Moody (Linux.conf.au 2010 keynote)

“Indecision becomes decision with time.”

        — Unknown

“Laughter is a part of the human survival kit.”

        — David Nathan

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

        — George Bernard Shaw

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.”

        — Aesop

“The middle of every successful project looks like a disaster.”

        — Rosabeth Moss Kanter

“We want structures that serve people, not people serving structures.”

        — May 1968 Graffiti #

“If it weren’t for physics and law enforcement, I’d be unstoppable.”

        — Unknown

A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.

        — William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.”

        — Ashleigh Brilliant

“It’s not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It’s what you do with your life that counts.”

        — Millard Fuller

“Have your master keys locked in a vault and guarded by dogs. Mean dogs. Dogs with two factor authentication.”

        — Tom Eastman (@tveastman) #lca2016

“Ironically, making a statement with words is the least effective method.”

        — Grey Livingston

“Dear coffee: we had a deal. I’d put you in my body, you would give me super powers. WTF happened?”

        — Cory Doctorow (@doctorow) #

“Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”

        — Henry Van Dyke

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

        — Anne Frank

“Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”

        — Unknown

“Then what are we fighting for?”

        — Winston Churchill in response to a suggestion of cutting arts funding to support the war effort

“HTTP is the dial tone of the web.”

        — Chris Tucker

“Cleverness is not wisdom.”

        — Euripides

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

“If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.”

        — Oliver Herford

“Writing code a computer can understand is science. Writing code other programmers can understand is an art.”

        — Jason Gorman (@jasongorman) #

“Exercise machines are just torture devices with better marketing campaigns.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane) #

No matter what your Chinese symbol tattoo says, I’m going to assume the translation is: “Please think I’m cool.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane) #

“Begin each day as if it were on purpose.”

        — Mary Anne Radmacher

“Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.”

        — Turkish Proverb

Acceptance is such an important commodity, some have called it “the first law of personal growth.”

        — Peter McWilliams

“Some people have cats and go on to lead normal lives.”

        — Unknown

“I was married by a judge – I should have asked for a jury.”

        — Groucho Marx

“Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.”

        — Beverley Nichols

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”

        — Reba McEntire

“Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow colour blind.”

        — Austin O’Malley

“We have a fun game my wife and I play during lock-down. It’s called, ‘Why do you do it that way?’ There are no winners.”

        — Unknown #QuarantineQuotes

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

        — Dale Carnegie

“If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say, ‘Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot’, you are wasting everybody’s time.”

“Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours.”

        — Doug Larson