A truth that’s told with bad intent
Beats all the lies you can invent.

        — William Blake, Auguries of Innocence

“My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.”

        — Ashleigh Brilliant

“It’s not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It’s what you do with your life that counts.”

        — Millard Fuller

“Have your master keys locked in a vault and guarded by dogs. Mean dogs. Dogs with two factor authentication.”

        — Tom Eastman (@tveastman) #lca2016

“Ironically, making a statement with words is the least effective method.”

        — Grey Livingston

“Dear coffee: we had a deal. I’d put you in my body, you would give me super powers. WTF happened?”

        — Cory Doctorow (@doctorow) #

“Use what talents you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”

        — Henry Van Dyke

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

        — Anne Frank

“Never tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon.”

        — Unknown

“Then what are we fighting for?”

        — Winston Churchill in response to a suggestion of cutting arts funding to support the war effort

“HTTP is the dial tone of the web.”

        — Chris Tucker

“Cleverness is not wisdom.”

        — Euripides

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

“If some people got their rights they would complain of being deprived of their wrongs.”

        — Oliver Herford

“Writing code a computer can understand is science. Writing code other programmers can understand is an art.”

        — Jason Gorman (@jasongorman) #

“Exercise machines are just torture devices with better marketing campaigns.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane) #

No matter what your Chinese symbol tattoo says, I’m going to assume the translation is: “Please think I’m cool.”

        — Caprice Crane (@capricecrane) #

“Begin each day as if it were on purpose.”

        — Mary Anne Radmacher

“Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.”

        — Turkish Proverb

Acceptance is such an important commodity, some have called it “the first law of personal growth.”

        — Peter McWilliams

“Some people have cats and go on to lead normal lives.”

        — Unknown

“I was married by a judge – I should have asked for a jury.”

        — Groucho Marx

“Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.”

        — Beverley Nichols

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone.”

        — Reba McEntire

“Those that think it permissible to tell white lies soon grow colour blind.”

        — Austin O’Malley

“We have a fun game my wife and I play during lock-down. It’s called, ‘Why do you do it that way?’ There are no winners.”

        — Unknown #QuarantineQuotes

“Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.”

        — Dale Carnegie

“If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say, ‘Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot’, you are wasting everybody’s time.”

“Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours.”

        — Doug Larson